‘The Vampire Diaries’ Opinion Recap: Woke Up With a Monster

‘The Vampire Diaries’ Opinion Recap: ‘Woke Up With a Monster’
By: Kelsey Leiter 1/24/2015

Can we all just take a minute to discuss the genius of Kai?

If you recall the last time we visited Mystic Falls, Elena was masterfully hidden by an awesome cloaking spell executed by Kai, literally on the steps of the Salvatore home where she may or may not have been able to somehow remember her and Damon’s epic love story that she carelessly had wiped from her memory. And, breathe.

In the moment, we hated Kai, obviously, because he was destroying what we had all been waiting for- the moment where Elena’s brain suddenly snaps back into place and she remembers all the hot make-outs her and Damon once shared. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t happen this episode either. Womp.

I was a Kai hater too, sure. Until this week's episode premiered and I realized that I actually love him. The episode is entitled “Woke Up with a Monster,” because Elena literally wakes up handcuffed in a room with Kai (aka ‘monster’).

But, the opening scene is hysterical. The lines are so sick and demented, you can’t help but laugh. Kai, who’s played by Chris Wood, describes how he killed the owner of the Mystical Grill in graphic detail as if he were telling a friend about what he did last weekend. ‘Oh, yeah, I just went to the mall, hung with my family, and like, killed some dude in a cruel, excruciating way. No big deal, really.’

Verbatim this is what he says:

“You know I didn't quite realize I was out of control, until I met the manager of the Grill. And he was all like, 'Yeah, you can't come in here, we're closed, and you have an unconscious girl over you shoulder.' And I was like, 'Don't judge me.’ So, then I gave him a heart attack. Tried to...But all I did was make him vomit uncontrollably, which was was like, uhh, all right, let's stop that. So, I tried again, and I think I broke his spine."

Here's the whole opening scene, because it's just that great:

It’s not just the lines though; it’s the way Wood delivers them. I don’t know, maybe I’m twisted, but I love it! He’s so sure about everything he says, so unwavering in his belief that what he’s doing is totally fine.

After Elena passes out while Kai tries to turn her blood into acid, she wakes up to him in a Mystic Falls Timberwolves t-shirt as he proceeds to say that his favorite memory of his brother is when he beat him to death…But, it’s okay because he says, “Liking yourself is the most important thing. And, I like me.” We like you too, Kai.

Ever since Klaus left, Mystic Falls has been in need of a tell-it-how-it-is no-remorse type dude. Except, unlike Klaus, we haven’t seen Kai have a single weakness, besides the whole not having magic unless he steals it from his twin sister thing.

Speaking of his twin sister, it’s looking like Jo is going to be on the losing side of the twin-sibling-magic-battle-thing (aka The Merge) that’s been looming over her head for only, like, her whole life…Apparently magic is hard, judging from the look of the Salvatore living room during her practice sessions. Who knew?

Meanwhile, Caroline and Stefan are trying to figure out a way to help Sheriff Forbes fight her stage 4 cancer. Caroline thinks that vampire blood could help and decides it’s perfectly acceptable to test this theory on an unknowing patient suffering from a diagnosis similar to her mother's.

Judging from next week’s trailer, her theory wasn’t fool proof…

Tune into The Vampire Diaries on The CW at 8 p.m. on Thursdays.