‘The Vampire Diaries’: 'Prayer for the Dying' highlights dysfunction in Mystic Falls

So just to sum up what’s been going on lately in our favorite dysfunctional, magically-inclined town, Elena still has no memory of her relationship/passionate love affair with Damon, but she wants to give it another try because, as she said last week, “I’ve never felt more alive.”

Stefan stills feel guilty about basically losing it, taking off, and abandoning Caroline when Damon was “dead,” so he went with her to Duke where she was trying to find a way to cure her mom’s stage 4 cancer.

Her way: testing her theory that vampire blood could cure cancer on an unsuspecting cancer patient. Classy. She thought it worked and came home and fed her mom vampire blood. However, that man apparently died and became a vampire right after she left, so maybe not the best plan Caroline? We think not.

Oh, and Jo is still terrible at magic while Kai is kicking ass. Using the ridiculous amount of magic he stole from the spell that was keeping magic out of Mystic Falls, Kai tricked Damon into staking Elena in the heart. It was genius, really. And sick. But then, so is Kai.

But, never fear, Alaric showed up and shot Kai with a crossbow, successfully drugging him so that he’s passed out on a table when we first see him in this weeks episode. (Remember, he can’t be killed otherwise Jo can’t merge with him and, like, kill her own brother basically…)

Anyways, this week everyone’s trying to figure out how to clean up the mess Caroline has now created (even though we know she did it out of love). Basically, her blood sped up the cancer in the man she tested her theory on and he died, thus turning him into a vampire.

To keep this from happening to Sheriff Forbes, Jo, who Damon now calls “The Witch Doctor,” suggests they do a full blood transfusion to flush the vampire blood out of her system. But, we have a feeling Jo is no Meredith Grey.

Damon, as always is super sensitive about the entire situation. He greets Elena as she walks into the waiting room and says, “Hey, the blood transfusions are stopping the cancer from eating her alive? Or, hey, is there a sheriff sized space available in the family crypt.” But that’s all just because, “As far as humans go, she’s tolerable.” Translation: he loves her, they’ve always been friends, and she’s never given up on him despite his frequent, colossal life fails.

On the other front, Luke and Liv are trying to convince their father that Jo is strong enough to take on Kai in the merge. And while this might be true, they’re really just trying to save themselves from having to merge with each other because apparently Luke is stronger and Liv will die. Obviously, Tyler is involved because he’s randomly all in love with Liv, even though they’re pretty much rude to each other at all times. I still miss him and Caroline’s glory days, but I digress.

Damon, in all his demented glory, comes up with a plan: use Kai to suck the magic out of Sheriff Forbes, but at a price.

The deal: Kai takes away the magic and stops the cancer from spreading, but he wants to merge with Jo… like now. Since Jo is in no way ready for this, you can see how she would be opposed to this particular plan.

Kai sucks up all the magic and the sheriff starts to have a heart attack. Momentarily distracted, Elena doesn’t notice that Kai has cloaked himself and taken off to snap Damon’s neck. “Magical neck snap, never gets old.” Classic Kai.

But Damon has some sort of secret plan. Something about the planets and moon being in alignment that might give Jo a better chance. Cut to the scene where Liv and Luke’s father decides to spring a merge on them to somehow stop Kai. It all looks pretty painful until Tyler comes out of nowhere and knocks him out. Way to make a good first impression on your girl’s dad, Ty.

Meanwhile, Jo and Kai start their merge. Her last words to her sociopathic twin? “You’re a parasite.” Harsh. But out of nowhere, Luke shows up and ends up merging with Kai because they’re now the same age (recall how Kai was locked in some weird, parallel universe for all those years which stunted his age development).

In a not so shocking turn of events, guess who wins? Not Luke, because according to Kai, “I always win.”

As far as the whole cancer issue goes, Sheriff Forbes died…only then she didn’t? Her heart was stopped for literally 5 minutes and the doctor declared her dead, but then she had some creepy dream about Caroline being covered in blood and woke up. Makes sense. Oh, and it was right after this happened that Damon and Elena decided to make out for the first time since she literally compelled him out of her mind. Good timing guys.

We can’t even imagine what Kai’s next move will be, but we can guarantee there will be a lot of death, a lot of blood, and a lot of Kai’s hysterical lines.

Check out the trailer for next week’s episode:

Tune into The Vampire Diaries on The CW at 8 p.m. on Thursdays.

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