‘The Vampire Diaries’ Recap: Stay, out of Mystic Falls forever

This week we’re apparently paying homage to Jeremy Gilbert who is going off to college as per his sister’s request (aka demand). This should be upsetting- a main character who has been a part of the fiasco that is Mystic Falls since the beginning is leaving town and going to art school because he’s artsy and brooding and what not.

So why don’t I feel that sad about it? Probably because for about three seasons now Jeremy has been moody, and depressed, and moody…and depressed. And, not to be rude, because we all have our issues, but it has been annoying. I’m starting to understand why Damon snapped his neck that one time. (Remember the good ole days when Damon was basically a loveable murderer pre-Elena).

Jeremy basically lost it when Bonnie died and became a huge slut and functioning alcoholic. We also all somehow ignored that he was the only one still in high school, yet was taking a bottle of Jack to the face before 9AM. Good times.

Thankfully, we have other things to worry about, like Sheriff Forbes’s cancer, Stefan and Caroline’s impending romance, and Enzo’s new obsession with Sarah Salvatore, the family member that Stefan told Damon had died before she was even born.

Sheriff Forbes is having flashbacks to the night Elena’s parents died. The file for the case is labeled mysteriously under unsolved cases. Obviously, because it’s the Gilberts and when is anything ever open and shut. As she’s going through some other open cases, Damon cops to, oh, only about all of them. But, the sheriff plays a voicemail from two hours before that accident where Elena’s mom says she has something important she needs to tell her. So, maybe it wasn’t an accident.

Since Damon and Elena took it upon themselves to compel the high school principal into letting Jeremy graduate early (despite the fact that he’s missed 100 days of school, at one point faked his own death, and has repeatedly been caught using drugs), there’s a celebration at The Grille involving underage drinking, Alaric, and Elena moping over Jeremy’s intended departure (even though she’s the one who told him to leave). Damon, however, is chipper as ever. “Somehow we’ll all find a way to move on without you, Jeremy.” Pause for effect. “Oh, hey, just did.” Damon. Sentimental as always.

In an attempt for some comic relief, Jeremy and Elena smoke a joint. Gasp. The angelic being that is Elena Gilbert dabbled in the art of ganja- and then ate an entire box of fries. Sadly enough, it’s the most normal sibling activity we’ve possibly ever seen Jeremy and Elena share.

After digging around through old files and Elena and Jeremy dredging up old memories, they find out that the voicemail was a joke. Jeremy’s mom had caught him smoking pot and called the sheriff to scare him. I guess it really was an open and shut case – probably the Sheriff’s last one. As she left her badge on her desk, shut off the lights, and left behind that part of her life, my throat tightened a little. It's the end of an era in Mystic Falls.

Meanwhile, Stefan and Caroline finally kiss after about a million months of budding sexual tension. Except, I didn’t really feel any chemistry between them. And after their kiss the dialogue is kind of weird and awkward. “One of us should probably say something,” she says. “Go for it,” he says. “Not that,” Caroline replies. Like, what? Does she mean that one of them should say “I love you” because isn’t that a little fast. One kiss does not a love story make. Also, remember that time where Klaus told Caroline he intended to be her last love? What happened to all that?

Damon opens up to Sheriff Forbes about his mother’s death. Through it all, they’ve always had each other and it’ll be sad and, at the same time, interesting to see how Damon functions without her. “I have to admit there is a certain amount of peace knowing I’ll be one of the only people in Mystic Falls to die an ordinary death.” Yes, you were exceptionally ordinary Sheriff, and we loved you for it.

Caroline is able to go inside her mom’s mind and bring her to the memory of Caroline learning to ride a bike. “Don’t let go, Mom, I’m not ready,” Caroline says. But she does let go. And she is ready.

Admit it…you cried.
I admit…I bawled.

Next week, it seems Caroline won’t be able to handle her mother’s death all that well:

Image courtesy of INF Photo
Tune into The Vampire Diaries on Thursdays at 8 p.m. on The CW.