Trailers by Brandon: Everything about 'Slice' looks perfect

The movies being released this week, to be honest, all seem slightly blah, but there have been a plethora of amazing trailers that have dropped one after another. Someone get me in a theater playing Slice right this instant (or Halloween, as we’re at t-minus seven weeks).

Opening this week:

The Happytime Murders

I wanted this one to be good. I really, really wanted this one to be good. The premise of R-rated puppets coming from the son of Jim Henson — the man who actually created the muppets — is just too entertaining of a notion to pass up. Sadly, I’m reading a lot of reviews that are saying the trailers show all the funny bits and the film itself can’t sustain its 90-minute runtime. I’m still going to see The Happytime Murders for myself to make up my own mind, but I now have a bad feeling about this.

Searching

On the flip-side, Searching isn’t a movie I was super jazzed for, but it’s actually getting a lot of positive reviews. They take the concept introduced Unfriended and appear to use it to make a thriller kind of film instead of horror.

A.X.L.

Somebody needs to explain to me how A.X.L. ever got green-lit in the first place, because I’d really like to know. This is a mix of so many other movies we’ve already seen before and the dialogue is so cringe-worthy that this whole production just seems like some kind of practical joke Hollywood is playing on all of us.

Papillon

When I saw the first trailers to Papillon, I was kind of impressed. Since then, I haven’t heard a single thing about this movie and just now realized it was being released this week. I’m not taking that as a good sign, but the premise is still kind of neat I guess?

 

New trailers:

Slice (2018)

This is what you need to know about Slice: it stars Deadpool 2’s Zazie Beetz and Chance the Rapper in a movie about pizza delivery drivers, werewolves and a passage to Hell. It’s certainly not going to be a movie for everyone, but it sounds practically tailor-made for me. I want to see this movie and I want to see this movie now.

Suspiria (Nov. 2, 2018)

Another one I’m super jazzed about as the trailers to Suspiria have been incredible. Luca Guadagnino seems to have taken the vibe and themes of Dario Argento’s original masterpiece and turned it into something brand new — it even seems like they’re going to be incorporating the other two mothers into this one (which is great, because I don’t ever need to see Mother of Tears revisited. That movie is god-awful).

Hold the Dark (Sept. 28, 2018)

The director of Blue Ruin and Green Room — two massively underrated movies (especially Green Room) — is making his return, this time to Netflix. Hold the Dark has a lot of Wind River and The Grey vibes, but it has me so excited to see what Jeffrey Wright and Jeremy Saulnier are going to do with this. Just don’t expect any kind of happy ending, because that’s really not Saulnier’s style.

Outlaw King (Nov. 9, 2018)

It’s the closest reboot of Braveheart that I ever want to be made, but I’m okay with what I’m seeing from Outlaw King because it looks like something different. David Mackenzie and Chris Pine teaming up again after Hell or High Water sure sounds like a good thing to me at least.

The Land of Steady Habits (Sept. 14, 2018)

Ben Mendelsohn finally being cast in a role where he isn’t a generic version is enough for me to want to see this movie in itself. Mendelsohn is such a talented actor and so often doesn’t get fully utilized in his roles. The Land of Steady Habits looks like a good showcase for him, Thomas Mann and Connie Britton in what will hopefully be a charming and sweet (even if it will probably be pretty by-the-numbers) film.

Freaks (2018)

I need more than 20 seconds of footage to actually get me buzzing about Freaks, as there’s next to nothing we actually see in this teaser. That being said, I have a feeling I’m going to like what I see when we do eventually get to see more, as this is supposed to be a creepy, weird thriller that really gets inside your head.

The Oath (Oct. 12, 2018)

Normally, a movie like this wouldn’t excite me all that much. It looks like it’s trying just a bit too hard to be relevant and funny at the same time, which doesn’t always translate for great filmmaking. The thing is, Tiffany Haddish is one of the funniest comedians working today and I’m now a big Ike Barinholtz fan after seeing what he did in Blockers, so maybe. Maybe this one stands a chance.

Killer Kate! (Oct. 26, 2018)

Sadly, I don’t think Killer Kate! stands much of a chance. I like that it’s weird, bloody and how the filmmakers are definitely going all-in on it, but you can’t help but feel that this is nothing more than a student film that never should have seen the light of day.

 

Rewind:

Labyrinth (1986)

Yes, there’s a good chance you’ve already seen Labyrinth, but I love this movie and The Happytime Murders has a bunch of puppets in it so I’m not passing up my opportunity to talk about Jareth the Goblin King. In my opinion, Labyrinth is the best thing Jim Henson has ever done. More so than Dark Crystal, more so than Muppets — Labyrinth takes the crown. It’s literally bursting with imagination and absurdity, making this whole thing so much damn fun to watch. Whether you’ve seen it or not, this is the perfect weekend to go rewatch this classic.